I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
