Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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