I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
