I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
