whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
