so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Use "feeling words"
Yay
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
