Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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