i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We left an ass print on the piano.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
