i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
