did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
