All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
