Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
