For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize