I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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