If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
