My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
