shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
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