Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
