Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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