So drunk, too bad you don't want this
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
