In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize