There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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