You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
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