haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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