you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
