sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
The feeling are messing with the penis
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
