actually, I'm a sock model
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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