it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
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when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
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Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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