do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
accomplished twins. life is a go
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Will exercising make me less horny?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
