He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
