I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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