Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
