i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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