If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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