Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
