he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
