I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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