and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
