We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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