i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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