My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
My life is pants optional.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize