Texts From Last Night

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.

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  (913): I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me. http://tfl.nu/mpf5
  Replies (5) Good night (1010) Bad night (1832)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Sorry, I don't speak sober.

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  (613): Sorry, I don't speak sober. http://tfl.nu/dwuu
  Replies (8) Good night (4163) Bad night (615)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.

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  (440): he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now. http://tfl.nu/ongm
  Replies (166) Good night (1215) Bad night (8427)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.

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  (817): Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him. http://tfl.nu/25q8
  Replies (63) Good night (28490) Bad night (1417)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.

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  (315): Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left. http://tfl.nu/77za
  Replies (63) Good night (10743) Bad night (1651)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  so how was last night?

  (1-586): View more from Michigan

  got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.

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  (586): so how was last night? (1-586): got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages. http://tfl.nu/4xoa
  Replies (21) Good night (10414) Bad night (1191)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".

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  (239): While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth". http://tfl.nu/xyop
  Replies (6) Good night (5108) Bad night (959)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.

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  (828): last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew. http://tfl.nu/yza6
  Replies (17) Good night (5663) Bad night (1083)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.

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  (206): I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me. http://tfl.nu/t4ey
  Replies (3) Good night (1059) Bad night (3026)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.

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  (907): Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina. http://tfl.nu/hpd0
  Replies (36) Good night (2719) Bad night (822)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.

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  (772): Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible. http://tfl.nu/t50d
  Replies (10) Good night (1789) Bad night (1054)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.

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  (260): Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office. http://tfl.nu/3hhh
  Replies (4) Good night (1534) Bad night (623)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.

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  (847): The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one. http://tfl.nu/8fpw
  Replies (2) Good night (760) Bad night (370)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.

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  (763): I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down. http://tfl.nu/nif2
  Replies (8) Good night (571) Bad night (321)
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  (596): View more from

  Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.

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  (596): Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop. http://tfl.nu/tzap
  Replies (3) Good night (681) Bad night (249)

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