Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.

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  (650): I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs. http://tfl.nu/bo8w
  Replies (7) Good night (1718) Bad night (586)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you

  (1-636): View more from Missouri

  when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced

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  (636): dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you (1-636): when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced http://tfl.nu/5nrz
  Replies (5) Good night (1797) Bad night (1028)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  My Higher Power is John Stamos

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  (540): My Higher Power is John Stamos http://tfl.nu/1c78
  Replies (11) Good night (2212) Bad night (758)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not

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  (817): I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not http://tfl.nu/w4u2
  Replies (57) Good night (1261) Bad night (4387)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.

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  (204): i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week. http://tfl.nu/kpcq
  Replies (5) Good night (4015) Bad night (769)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.

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  (517): just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder. http://tfl.nu/xinc
  Replies (27) Good night (1392) Bad night (4833)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea

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  (574): almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea http://tfl.nu/8a1h
  Replies (1) Good night (1011) Bad night (3270)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?

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  (780): Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high? http://tfl.nu/wnjj
  Replies (4) Good night (2523) Bad night (789)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult

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  (780): Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult http://tfl.nu/fk5u
  Replies (14) Good night (998) Bad night (2342)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.

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  (609): it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating. http://tfl.nu/22js
  Replies (4) Good night (1532) Bad night (1061)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.

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  (920): I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone. http://tfl.nu/uom5
  Replies (14) Good night (1450) Bad night (712)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?

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  (404): Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture? http://tfl.nu/tx1u
  Replies (3) Good night (481) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  "Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha

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  (206): "Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha http://tfl.nu/1j7y
  Replies (10) Good night (3025) Bad night (498)
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.

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  (409): Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY. http://tfl.nu/n49p
  Replies (11) Good night (369) Bad night (1471)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5

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  (941): It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5 http://tfl.nu/f2uj
  Replies (3) Good night (308) Bad night (602)

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