Texts From Last Night

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  (416): View more from Ontario

  Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home

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  (416): Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home http://tfl.nu/32l0
  Replies (54) Good night (28022) Bad night (2923)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes

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  (781): At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes http://tfl.nu/p42l
  Replies (10) Good night (3505) Bad night (1195)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  it happened again.

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  (973): remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels? (973): it happened again. http://tfl.nu/jmjg
  Replies (8) Good night (6254) Bad night (1005)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.

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  (214): Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me. http://tfl.nu/otui
  Replies (12) Good night (2699) Bad night (1124)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check

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  (847): there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check http://tfl.nu/dzvq
  Replies (7) Good night (4161) Bad night (1431)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there

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  (319): You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there http://tfl.nu/a5ka
  Replies (14) Good night (1287) Bad night (3139)
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  (510): View more from California

  speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage

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  (510): speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage http://tfl.nu/2e5o
  Replies (7) Good night (1829) Bad night (1210)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel

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  (201): I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel http://tfl.nu/tjoe
  Replies (8) Good night (2891) Bad night (1029)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.

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  (314): you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything. http://tfl.nu/wqjw
  Replies (5) Good night (2259) Bad night (567)
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  (619): View more from California

  My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.

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  (619): My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine. http://tfl.nu/2kaz
  Replies (5) Good night (1471) Bad night (586)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado

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  (828): Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado http://tfl.nu/of4e
  Replies (27) Good night (3645) Bad night (848)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!

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  (315): I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM! http://tfl.nu/tdzt
  Replies (0) Good night (523) Bad night (238)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.

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  (508): I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking. http://tfl.nu/8mby
  Replies (0) Good night (408) Bad night (423)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.

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  (201): The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh. http://tfl.nu/kyoe
  Replies (0) Good night (408) Bad night (296)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on

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  (978): Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on http://tfl.nu/u03s
  Replies (0) Good night (411) Bad night (182)

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