Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie