Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!

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(419): View more from Ohio

Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.

(850): View more from Florida

This has already gotten way out of hand

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(502): View more from Kentucky

I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?

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(330): View more from Ohio

My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.

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(740): View more from Ohio

When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.

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(917): View more from New York City

Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?

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