party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
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Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
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I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.