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• (410): View more from Maryland

  You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you

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• (+82): View more from

  I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.

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  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (315): View more from New York

  when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (707): View more from California

  he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan

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• (516): View more from New York

  I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this

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• (226): View more from Ontario

  Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.

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