so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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