I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
