And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize