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• (646): View more from New York

  party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.

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• (310): View more from California

  The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.

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• (972): View more from Texas

  Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.

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• (916): View more from California

  I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING

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• (863): View more from Florida

  I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again

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• (817): View more from Texas

  But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be

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• (510): View more from California

  Can I drink yet?

  (206): View more from Washington

  It's Monday morning.

  (510): View more from California

  Your point?

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• (409): View more from Texas

  I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.

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