Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

farters have to be the big spoon...

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(913): farters have to be the big spoon... http://tfl.nu/5j3w

Replies (6) Good night (895) Bad night (2735)
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(816): View more from Missouri

normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me

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(816): normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me http://tfl.nu/ze3z

Replies (86) Good night (1589) Bad night (23590)
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(613): View more from Ontario

It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.

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(613): It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over. http://tfl.nu/tn8v

Replies (9) Good night (1126) Bad night (3416)
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(443): View more from Maryland

Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella

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(443): Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella http://tfl.nu/27sq

Replies (31) Good night (12551) Bad night (1631)
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(512): View more from Texas

dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf

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(512): dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf http://tfl.nu/h3mw

Replies (33) Good night (2041) Bad night (6110)
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(678): View more from Georgia

SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her

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(678): SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her http://tfl.nu/v70p

Replies (20) Good night (2972) Bad night (4308)
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(636): View more from Missouri

I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.

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(636): I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together. http://tfl.nu/hsqn

Replies (3) Good night (1855) Bad night (1329)
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(313): View more from Michigan

Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.

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(313): Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck. http://tfl.nu/ib4p

Replies (4) Good night (2178) Bad night (1543)
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(559): View more from California

Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.

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(559): Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on. http://tfl.nu/nei9

Replies (7) Good night (1045) Bad night (1593)
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(941): View more from Florida

I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.

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(941): I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention. http://tfl.nu/43cq

Replies (8) Good night (1127) Bad night (556)
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(708): View more from Illinois

I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.

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(708): I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily. http://tfl.nu/de3q

Replies (3) Good night (2079) Bad night (536)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.

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(920): Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van. http://tfl.nu/upqb

Replies (3) Good night (765) Bad night (1112)
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(410): View more from Maryland

Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.

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(410): Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii. http://tfl.nu/nmvv

Replies (6) Good night (2210) Bad night (560)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it

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(+44): There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it http://tfl.nu/85wu

Replies (4) Good night (261) Bad night (568)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.

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(+44): He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up. http://tfl.nu/t0cr

Replies (1) Good night (1726) Bad night (323)

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