I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
