some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
