ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I want to be your penis for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize