I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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