the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
