i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize