I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just put wine in my tea
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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