Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
