She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
