no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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