Me too!
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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