Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
the day after is always just damage control
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
