Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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