She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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