eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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