Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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