I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
